i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
