Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
