Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
