Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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