I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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