Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize