i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
