eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
