The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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