we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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