Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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