Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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