Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
