You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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