Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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