wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
