I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
ok first of all what the fuck
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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