She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish I only lived at night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
