You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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