mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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