I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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