I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
