im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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