After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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