this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize