God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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