Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
