hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
