Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
