According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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