Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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