ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
