tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
