First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
