My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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