I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
