That's intense
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
