we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
