I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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