matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
