My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
