I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The beer is more important than you right now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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