Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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