I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
