can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
