bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i think im in europe. pls send help
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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