Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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