I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
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