I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
