You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
