Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
