Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
