I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
