Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
