I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
