my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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