Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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