the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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