I just threw up on my dentist
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
