I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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