i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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