oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
